Before that, I had a comfortable life. I earned a good salary, and had a Master’s degree. I held positions of responsibility.
I fled for my life and safety – I needed a place where my children felt safe. I would have been completely stuck without the refuge. Before I came into refuge, I was staying with family and laying low – I didn’t want anyone to know where I was. I felt very unsafe – I couldn’t go outdoors because I didn’t want to give away my location. I was very afraid that he was going to turn up at the door.
When I fled, I left everything behind so when I came to the refuge I had nothing. They gave us access to clothing, school uniforms, toiletries, food – everything we could need. There was a garden and a playroom for my children. It was a shock for them at first that we had to move from a big house to a single room in a shared house, but we all adapted.
When I first arrived, I felt such a sense of relief. It enabled me to recalibrate, to find my bearings and restart. I felt there was no judgement, and the support workers there gave me the best care and encouragement. They empowered me and I needed that landing pad to be able to take off again. Without that it would have been very difficult.
I’m grateful that I ended up at Hestia because it was so much more than just a roof over my head – it was a place where I could actually thrive. It was an opportunity to start my life all over again in a safe place.
It helped me emotionally and mentally – I was given in-house therapy. I didn’t realise at the time that not every refuge provides that, but I was lucky enough to find myself in a trauma-informed refuge. So, I was cared for holistically. It gave me back my confidence and my dignity – my power to function as a mother and a citizen.
Now two years on, my life has changed massively – I now run my own organisation, and I am thriving. I am able to educate others such as the police, charities, and media about domestic abuse. I am a lived experience consultant and an international speaker.
My fondest memory from my time in refuge was Mothering Sunday. Members of the public and local churches donated flowers and cakes, and my children were able to use food from the refuge to prepare me a meal as a surprise. It was my best Mothering Sunday ever!
It’s a lifeline and a life saver.
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